Meeting Beelzebub – #2

This is very different to the Villanelle I posted yesterday. The villanelle came about as I ‘played’ with the ideas from a first poem, which developed into a second and then into the villanelle. I thought it may be fun to post the three and show some poetic, creative progression!. As I say, the first two are very different in style (free verse) and flavour. Do hope you enjoy them!
Maybe I should name them “The Beelzebub Trio”! 🙂

Anyway, here is the second one – I will post # 1 tomorrow!
I would love to hear your comments…

****

photo credit - morguefile.com

photo credit – morguefile.com

Beelzebub came to meet me in Cherry Lane,
Lined with Honey Blossoms and Jakarandas,
Flowers blooming, sun shining,
A fine day.

Stopping before me, he smiled and winked.
Flicking his tail nonchalantly,
He curled one taloned finger,
Beckoning me to follow.

Strange, really, I didn’t feel dead,
After all, this was just an afternoon’s stroll,
At least, that’s how it had begun
Before horny appeared.

I stood my ground, breathing air sweetly,
His smile turned to a frown,
Unfurling the black-nailed finger
He pointed directly at me.

“Follow me!” he commanded.
Not being one to be ordered around,
I stayed my feet,
He was not happy.

****

© Copyright 2015 Robin McShane

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4 comments on “Meeting Beelzebub – #2

  1. In this version the actors are more clear-cut in their emotions and behavior.
    “I stayed my feet”……”.He was not happy” In the villanelle they are more wimpish; there, I think the forced form gets in the way of meaning. An interesting experiment. I look forward to the third leg!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Cynthia! I actually started with the one I ‘ll post tomorrow, then wrote this one, then the villanelle. Have no idea why! 🙂 There was no conscious intention but it has turned out to be very interesting! Your comment also very interesting – losing meaning to fit form! Makes sense – I need much more practice! 🙂 Thanks for your insight, once again – look forward to tomorrow! 🙂

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