Oh to be wealthy
Value measured by money
Drowning life’s meaning
Suffused with more than your share
Power and hope in despair
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Today’s prompt – money!
And to add some extra flavour, I have chosen to write a Tanka – not a form I have used before. Does it work?
(Updated the third line to a better flow I think! – thanks to Elizabeth at : 1sojournal)
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© Copyright 2015 Robin McShane
As per this blog’s copyright statement
great execution of the prompt in brevity
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Thanks Elle! 🙂
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I always think of those Japanese forms as rich in concrete images. This one is all abstract nouns and verbs….but then, money is an abstraction, isn’t it…
Gertrude Stein said: “Money is always there. Only the pockets change. It is not in the same pockets after a change. And that’s all there is to say about money”. 🙂
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Thanks for your comment Cynthia – I will have to work on my concrete Images! I Like the Gertrude Stein quote! 🙂
I must just add that my research was not very helpful to me regarding the Tanka – so I was ‘shooting in the dark’ a little here. Your input thus much appreciated Cynthia – thanks!
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Like the poem and the point you are making. The third line, however, seems a bit forced. I know this is a syllabic form. Perhaps “drowning life’s essence” or something similar. Check a thesaurus maybe?
Elizabeth
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Thanks for your input Elizabeth – I will have another look! Interesting these different styles, aren’t they!? 🙂
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Thanks again for your input – have made a change now and agree that it flows much better! Also made today’s one easier as well…Thanks! 🙂
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Your words strike a chord, a poignant reminder to keep the focus on what is truly important 😉
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Thank you for your comment Morgan – yes, money can be such a distraction can’t it!?
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Thanks for the follow, Morgan! 🙂
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