Time – Poetry 201 – Day 10 (last day!)

The details for this final day of ‘Writing 201 – Poetry’ are to write a sonnet with the prompt of the future using Chiasmus (essentially a reversal of words, phrases or concepts).

I wrote ‘Time 2’ first (after much editing!), then realized it wasn’t in iambic pentameter! So, I played with it to get it there (okay – almost!) – see ‘Time 1’. Iambic pentameter is the more classic and recognized meter for a sonnet. These days however, it seems we do have a little more room! I have also mixed the rhyming structure between the original Italian ย sonnets and….well…my own (I think!).

So, some help please:- a) are these sonnets? and b) which do you prefer and why?

All suggestions very welcome! Am a little confused on this one especially as I prefer Time 2 as a poem!

So, to the poems:

Time 1
By moving forwards back, then backwards fore,
The game’s afoot, now time’s illusion gaunt,
To live in the past, where hopes lie tattered and taunt,
Or move to the future, where hopes lie scattered galore,
A difficult choice when always searching for more,
With opening pathways appearing so nonchalant,
And ghosts of the past reappear, continuing to haunt,
It’s all so confusing, and hurts us to the core.
To live in a moment full of pain and frustration,
Or live in the moment present, feel the perfection,
It is ours to choose, ours to make a selection,
Forwards or backwards or, simply, take no direction,
Living, enjoying the moment we find ourselves in,
Love it, be grateful and ask it to fold us within.

Time 2
Moving forwards and backwards, then backwards and fore,
The game’s now afoot, time illusive and gaunt,
Could live in the past where my hopes lie and taunt,
Or move to the future, where hopes lie galore,
A difficult choice when searching for more,
With opening pathways so nonchalant,
And ghosts of the past continuing to haunt,
It’s all so confusing, it hurts to the core.
To live in a moment full of frustration,
Or live in the moment, feel the perfection,
It is ours to choose, to make a selection,
Forwards or backwards or take no direction,
Simply enjoying the moment we’re in,
Live it and love it, enfold us within.

****

ยฉ Copyright 2015 Robin McShane

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17 comments on “Time – Poetry 201 – Day 10 (last day!)

  1. Hi Rob, These both follow perfectly the rhyme scheme of the Italian, or Petrarchan, sonnet (as opposed to the Shakespearean sonnet). Like you, I prefer Time 2….it feels somehow less cluttered with extra words, more direct; probably because you dumped the pentameter in favor of tetrameter after the first four lines! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Cynthia! I really wasn’t sure of the whole meter story here! Very reassuring to receive your comment… Thanks! That was my exact feeling between 1 and 2…well, that’s exactly what I did I suppose, so would feel cluttered. You’re a star! Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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